Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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