never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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