I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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