Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
