Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
