piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize