Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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