...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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