I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
