The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
