There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
