eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
