So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
