A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
