i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
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