He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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