And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
