remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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