dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
