question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Randomize
