Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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