you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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