her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
