yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
