i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
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