Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
