Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
