Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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