Please, let me fuck your mom
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
