the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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