By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
