I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
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