i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
