The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
