Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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