omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
