i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
