I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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