shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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