I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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