Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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