I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
how drunk are you?
Several
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
