i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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