google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
