At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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