i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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