I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
