Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
