I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
