i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
