Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Randomize
