you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
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