Can Purell be used as lube?
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I could make wine with my vomit
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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