This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
