Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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