What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Randomize
