my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
