I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
