I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
