Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
