I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
