i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
