Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
