We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Oh god it's open bar.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
