Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
