I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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