no, he came in my armpit
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
