You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
So much Jack, so little girl.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize